Blog Archives

When you get to the end of a game, and you’re begging for it to be over (out loud even, at least once), that’s not a good sign. I’m not saying it’s a bad game, just that it’s way too long. I wish I could tell you that Final Fantasy XV was completely awesome in […]

Everything’s been done before. If you think you made something totally original, don’t worry: you haven’t. You’re just don’t know who did it before you yet.

So E3 is hoving into view, and once again I must spend some of my dwindling store of precious time watching company men try to get people pumped up for the latest round of sequels, remakes, and rip-offs. Surprisingly, there were some original games scattered here and there, and some of the sequels (etc.) actually […]

This week I discovered something so absolutely amazing, so utterly startling, that I was compelled by my sheer amazement to share it here, with you my loyal readers: The much ballyhooed 2015 Mad Max video game, a sorta-but-not-really movie tie in for Mad Max: Fury Road, by (not so) famed developer Avalanche Studios, makers of Just […]

I was wrong about Far Cry 5. When I saw the first publicity photos—featuring a panoply of villains with an American flag with crosses on it—I assumed the game would be a hatchet job on Americans, Christian Americans, and gun-owning Christian Americans. Mea bad. Mea maxima bad.

Borderlands 2 is one of those games where it’s a damn shame the people who made it are such total creepos and jerks, because it really is quite good but the experience of playing it is ruined if you know anything about them. Pandora, the planet Borderlands is set on, is a crazy funhouse version […]

The Evil Within 2 video game is NOT a ripoff of the “Resident Evil” series. People may say so, but they’re idiots who know nothing about games or game design, and their opinions should be summarily discarded. (As should their right to have any opinions at all.)

So I got an Xbox One X on Friday, and I won’t tell you how I managed to afford it except to say that—contrary to all rumors—getting $300 in store credit from Game Stop does NOT involve selling them a kidney. Just all your gold fillings. So was it worth all the impromptu in-store dentistry […]

I swear this totally true and not at all made up story happened exactly the way I’m going to tell it. For real. I’m sick, so I calls up the boss. “I’m sick.” “I missed that part where that’s my problem. Also, don’t put this into the blog post, like that camping crap last week. […]

Let me tell you what’s mystifying about Dragon Age: Inquisition—it’s not a fun game. It’s not an interesting game, not an entertaining game, not an evocative or moving game. It’s a boring game. But it SHOULDN’T be. It has all the hallmarks of a real computer RPG. There’s companion NPC’s holding conversations and arguments while […]